Last week my sister got us tickets to go to the rodeo. I think rodeos are great, fascinating and on the whole a very entertaining experience. However, this rodeo included a non scheduled event.
During the team roping event, the heeler was riding his horse back to gate after his partner had failed in roping the calf. I didn't pay much attention to him as I watched handlers preparing another calf in the chute. My attention was brought back to the heeler when I noticed his horse topple over sideways. I looked over just in time to see him hop off of his horse while it's legs started kicking and the horse started convulsing. It looked like it had fallen over and it was rocking itself back up to stand. Then it's legs started twitching and the front legs curled up. Within moments the horse was surrounded with help, it's saddle and halter were removed and a section of steel fence was brought out and placed behind the horse. The announcer began this long and meandering explanation of the time and money an owner puts into a horse and how these times are difficult for an owner. His voice was a creepy monotone other than how he began a sentence talking higher and by the end of a sentence his tone trailed out lower like a balloon letting out all of it's air. I didn't quite understand what was happening. Within a few moments they rolled the horse over onto the gate, everyone picked up a section of gate and they hauled the horse off. On with the rodeo. I assumed it had a seizure and would be fine. I talked to my sister on Thanksgiving who found out it had a heart attack. By the time they had rolled it over onto the fence it had already gone to that great big pasture in the sky.
It just got me thinking, "Why does nothing normal happen when Lori (my sister) is around?" Every time I talk to her she tells me these off the wall completely unbelievable stories that make you say "What the Hell...?" Normally I wouldn't believe omeone that spews such lofty lore, but she usually has reliable alibis and evidence that these things really happened. I am just going to ramble off a few just off the top of my head.
One time when she was walking to school a deer confronted her and actually chased her home... a nice sweet innocent, doe eyed DEER, like Bambi!
On a dare she agreed to approach and knock on a reputed and abandoned haunted house front door. As she was raising her hand to knock on the door the door knocked by itself. She and all of her friends ran away, she being the closest to the door and furthest from the car became the last one down the porch. As she jumped off of the porch a branch caught her shirt. Fleeing to the car the car, the branch pulled her backwards andthrew her to the ground. by this time her friends were in the car and were about to leave her. She got up and to the car before they left. And no-- this did not come from an episode of Scooby Doo.
Riding in the back of my dad's truck when it was struck by lightning
Hearing a police chase in her neighborhood and finding out the next day a high speed chase had ended less than a block from her house when a driver of a car smashed into a patrol car and then shot himself.
Wrecking on a three wheeler and injuring her hip and having my brother who she called "The Ethiopian" and could not have been 100 lbs wet, picked the three wheeler up off of her. Then having to ride in the back of a truck (same one that was hit by lightning) many miles down a dirt road that stabbed at her injury with every bump and pot hole.
Getting so sick with her first child that when I mentioned the words "Scrambled eggs" she had to scramble herself and her now fertilized egg to the bathroom to call for her friend "Ralph" in the toilet.
Having to deliver that baby by emergency C-section after a long and arduous labor.
Having a bone spur in her heel. After the surgery she stayed in my bedroom because it was closest to the bathroom. Every time I had to use the bathroom I dreaded it because she would ask for something else "Sterrrrrrrrrr, could you get me more ice for my ice pack?" "Sterrrrrrrrrrrr, can you get me some more Tylenol?" "SterRrRrRrRr, can you get me another blanket? I was OK with the first 100 or so requests. But, my patience eventually wore thin. I can't remember if she had a reaction to penicillin or if her pain medication started making her loopy but she finally got to the point that when I walked by the bedroom door she was saying "SterRrRrRrR!!!! There's mashed potatoes on the ceiling!" I looked at the ceiling and then at her and back at the ceiling "What do you want me to do?" "Get them off!" she groaned. They are making me sick!" I shook my head and started using the bathroom downstairs.
I just found out that on Saturday she went to cut down Christmas trees with my brother "The Ethiopian" in Wyoming. A storm swept through the area and turned all of the roads into ice sheets. Stressful moments ensued and she began peppering her children's now not so innocent ears anymore with more sailor talk. And I don't me the words like Jib, Ahoy, port, poop deck, knots, and hull either. My brother of course said it was fun.
I have been told that to the observer, I am the opposite. I seem to emerge from the hurricane with pressed pants and neatly combed hair. Catastrophe might happen around me but I seem unaffected. I would contest that although eventful situations do occur to me, I am either too dense to notice, to naive to realize their importance or simply fail to observe the magnitude of the events. An earthquake might level my home but I might just look at it and say "Hey! I must have hit another growth spurt! I don't remember being able to walk onto my roof from the front lawn! This is cool!" Life might be difficult for the fool, but it sure is exciting!
During the team roping event, the heeler was riding his horse back to gate after his partner had failed in roping the calf. I didn't pay much attention to him as I watched handlers preparing another calf in the chute. My attention was brought back to the heeler when I noticed his horse topple over sideways. I looked over just in time to see him hop off of his horse while it's legs started kicking and the horse started convulsing. It looked like it had fallen over and it was rocking itself back up to stand. Then it's legs started twitching and the front legs curled up. Within moments the horse was surrounded with help, it's saddle and halter were removed and a section of steel fence was brought out and placed behind the horse. The announcer began this long and meandering explanation of the time and money an owner puts into a horse and how these times are difficult for an owner. His voice was a creepy monotone other than how he began a sentence talking higher and by the end of a sentence his tone trailed out lower like a balloon letting out all of it's air. I didn't quite understand what was happening. Within a few moments they rolled the horse over onto the gate, everyone picked up a section of gate and they hauled the horse off. On with the rodeo. I assumed it had a seizure and would be fine. I talked to my sister on Thanksgiving who found out it had a heart attack. By the time they had rolled it over onto the fence it had already gone to that great big pasture in the sky.
It just got me thinking, "Why does nothing normal happen when Lori (my sister) is around?" Every time I talk to her she tells me these off the wall completely unbelievable stories that make you say "What the Hell...?" Normally I wouldn't believe omeone that spews such lofty lore, but she usually has reliable alibis and evidence that these things really happened. I am just going to ramble off a few just off the top of my head.
One time when she was walking to school a deer confronted her and actually chased her home... a nice sweet innocent, doe eyed DEER, like Bambi!
On a dare she agreed to approach and knock on a reputed and abandoned haunted house front door. As she was raising her hand to knock on the door the door knocked by itself. She and all of her friends ran away, she being the closest to the door and furthest from the car became the last one down the porch. As she jumped off of the porch a branch caught her shirt. Fleeing to the car the car, the branch pulled her backwards andthrew her to the ground. by this time her friends were in the car and were about to leave her. She got up and to the car before they left. And no-- this did not come from an episode of Scooby Doo.
Riding in the back of my dad's truck when it was struck by lightning
Hearing a police chase in her neighborhood and finding out the next day a high speed chase had ended less than a block from her house when a driver of a car smashed into a patrol car and then shot himself.
Wrecking on a three wheeler and injuring her hip and having my brother who she called "The Ethiopian" and could not have been 100 lbs wet, picked the three wheeler up off of her. Then having to ride in the back of a truck (same one that was hit by lightning) many miles down a dirt road that stabbed at her injury with every bump and pot hole.
Getting so sick with her first child that when I mentioned the words "Scrambled eggs" she had to scramble herself and her now fertilized egg to the bathroom to call for her friend "Ralph" in the toilet.
Having to deliver that baby by emergency C-section after a long and arduous labor.
Having a bone spur in her heel. After the surgery she stayed in my bedroom because it was closest to the bathroom. Every time I had to use the bathroom I dreaded it because she would ask for something else "Sterrrrrrrrrr, could you get me more ice for my ice pack?" "Sterrrrrrrrrrrr, can you get me some more Tylenol?" "SterRrRrRrRr, can you get me another blanket? I was OK with the first 100 or so requests. But, my patience eventually wore thin. I can't remember if she had a reaction to penicillin or if her pain medication started making her loopy but she finally got to the point that when I walked by the bedroom door she was saying "SterRrRrRrR!!!! There's mashed potatoes on the ceiling!" I looked at the ceiling and then at her and back at the ceiling "What do you want me to do?" "Get them off!" she groaned. They are making me sick!" I shook my head and started using the bathroom downstairs.
I just found out that on Saturday she went to cut down Christmas trees with my brother "The Ethiopian" in Wyoming. A storm swept through the area and turned all of the roads into ice sheets. Stressful moments ensued and she began peppering her children's now not so innocent ears anymore with more sailor talk. And I don't me the words like Jib, Ahoy, port, poop deck, knots, and hull either. My brother of course said it was fun.
I have been told that to the observer, I am the opposite. I seem to emerge from the hurricane with pressed pants and neatly combed hair. Catastrophe might happen around me but I seem unaffected. I would contest that although eventful situations do occur to me, I am either too dense to notice, to naive to realize their importance or simply fail to observe the magnitude of the events. An earthquake might level my home but I might just look at it and say "Hey! I must have hit another growth spurt! I don't remember being able to walk onto my roof from the front lawn! This is cool!" Life might be difficult for the fool, but it sure is exciting!
4 comments:
I'd have to say I'm with you. I always hear these stories and wonder why I never get to see anything exciting. For a long time I just thought people where just way better at "improving" the things that happen to them. Now I am just convinced that I don't attract crazy stuff. I would have to saw I don't mind it as much, normal is ok by me
I have to say that the Christmas tree trip with Lori was something else. I kept thinking as I watched cars spin out of control and off the road, motorhomes in the ditch by the road, trucks with trailers jackknifed or spinning all four wheels and still sliding backwards that this would NEVER happen if Lori wasn't there.
Being the Daughter of this "Magnet to Madness" I never.. EVER have a dull moment of my life. All I'm required to do is call Mom and I could write my English essay on the past two minutes of her life. But I wouldn't want it any other way! -Brittani
I have a friend who I would put in the same category. I imagine that if he and your sister ever hung out or passed each other on the street or something that a unicorn carrying Bill Cosby might swoop down from the sky and give them a Jello pudding pop.
My friend has a similar story with a deer but it was a friendly baby deer and they ended up keeping it as a pet for a while.
Crazy things also happen when you are with him. One time I was with him and a guy took us both to see the skeleton of a dead spaniard in the Uintas. I am serious.
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