I was sitting here in this very spot looking at a few classified ads, when something yellow, something hideous, something menacing caught my eye. I clicked on the ad and to my moistening eyes, appeared one of the most glorious visions I had ever seen. There he was, draped in sunflower yellow and looking as tenacious as ever -- my old snowblower, Chuck. My fingers began quivering as I opened the image gallery. This wasn't the exact Chuck. This one was covered in years of dust and dirt. But gleaming under that layer of filth and grime I could see decals that were in place that Chuck had long since lost. Bolts still in place where Chuck had years since lost his. Chrome still glistening where Chuck had began to rust. This wasn't Chuck. This was Chuck's younger, more hungry, girlfriend just left him because he lacked all sensitivity, looking for a fight, scrappy, brother. (And he's pissed that he's missed a few seasons) And better yet, Chucky was priced at a bargain basement price of $50. Even though it was late, I made the call to the seller as I was putting my shoes on and trotting out the door.
45 minutes later I was backing out of the previous owner's driveway, smiling to myself the way a bank robber would after a completely successful heist. I had done it. Purchased another truly spectacular snow blower for a completely reasonable price.
Old Man Winter I am sure is sitting in an ice cave somewhere in the Antarctic looking over a map of North America placing tiny pieces that indicate cold fronts, snow storms, ice storms, avalanches and bitter cold temperatures. Planning a strategy for this year's attack. At some point tonight I am sure a penguin will waddle in, salute and say "Wah wah" (Chuck's back) at which point Old Man Winter is sure to violently ask the penguin to repeat what he just said, Then sweep all of the pieces off of the map in a tantrum and then collapse on the floor sobbing silently to himself. He can cry all he wants. I will have winter in my yard under my conditions, strictly enforced by Sheriff Chucky. Hot turds on a tin roof! You hear me? Chucky's back!
