Awful horrible shame!

Recently I was tricked into getting a Facebook account. Really! I was duped, scammed and suckered.

What happened was that I got an invitation from someone to join Facebook. I had NO idea who this person was. I could not see a picture of this person until I joined Facebook myself. I originally ignored the invite. Then curiosity festered. I scratched at it and picked at it until it was a gaping wound.

I couldn't imagine who this was, how they knew me and how they got my email. I signed up for an account and found out it was a friend of one of my nephew's.

Since then I have become Facebook friends with several people that I went to high school with, Jr. high and even grade school.

On top of that we had a new home teacher come over to our house. Through casual introductions he and I figured out we went to high school together and graduated the same year.

I pulled out the yearbook and looked. I remember his face from high school, but graduated with a class of 700 students. I didn't remember him.

All of this remembering back to high school and even before unleashed a torrent of memories. Some good, some bad, most of them sad with an overlying theme of embarrassment. Horrible, disfiguring embarrassment.

I was (am) so tragically awkward, most of my memories of school are humiliating to the point where I want to slap my head and self affirm my admittance into the all time hall of shame.

When this life is over for me and I sit before that judgement seat and all of my actions are replayed in high definition, surround sound with subtitles and directors comments turned on, I have a notion that through most of it I will have to hide my face in shame while I mutter "Why did I wear tha-- oh no! There's a clean pair in the drawer! IDIOT! Your gonna pick that aren't you--OH GROSS! NO DON'T WIPE IT--! NOOOOO! I guess that explains why those girls didn't like you. Dude! You got some broccoli stuck in-- you can't... you can't hear me... I am not going even bother. NO! Don't say that! Do realize how stupid that sounds? What were you thinking? OH! I am sorry I asked... Is this movie over? Do you have the remote? Can we just fast forward through this Jr. high bit? "