I am publicly confessing of serious discretions, misdeeds and marital infidelity. This Christmas, I had a lurid love affair with a woman other than my wife. Mandy had her over for Christmas dinner. She was sort of round and squishy, but very sweet. She introduced herself as Marie Callendar. There was actually two of her. One in the form of a chocolate satin pie (Possible "Satan" misspelling?) and an apple pie.
Not sure if that little vixen sold her soul to get her frozen pies to taste like they were fresh made. I am pretty sure I am packing a few new ounces around in the midsection. Not sure how many years I took off my life. Not sure if I nudged up that point in my life when I clutch my chest in agony as my eyes glaze over and I mutter out my last words "Those damn pies!" Not sure, if even after all of that, I would do it any different.
I guess that would make me an impenitent transgressor. I stand only ashamed of the consequences of my actions not the actions themselves. I gotta go, I think there is still some leftover pie in the fridge.
As a side note Mandy just told me she wishes she had bought a pumpkin and a Berry pie also.
2 comments:
If you think her frozen pies are sinful, get yourself over to the Marie Callendar's restaraunt during 6 dollar pie month (February and June, I believe) and try the sour cream lemon. It darn near breaks your heart it's so good! My birthday is in June, which means my birthday cake is always a sour cream lemon pie curtesy of Marie Callendar and her pie month. Love it!
THanks for making me laugh out loud enough that my daughter had to come see what I was laughing at. You're right about those stinkin' pies. I think we've all been there in that moment of decision making and I can say that I have fallen...several times. But life is too short right? And if this is the worst thing you ever do, I think Hell will still be short one Ungerman.
btw, where do you find the great pictures to go along with your posts. They are just too appropriate.
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