Blood host and butt scratches

Yesterday during sacrament meeting Walker is laying on the bench next to me, when suddenly he says "Ooo!" I looked at him confused and shoosh him. He looks back at me with a creeped out look in his eyes and says "There was a spider in my hair! There it is!" and he points on the bench. I could see a little insect that wasn't a spider, so I pick it up. It was a tick. I frantically shook it off and resisted the urge to stand up on the bench and do the pee-pee dance, shake and wring my hands and scream like a frightened little girl "Oh my gosh! ohmagosh-umagosh-umigosh! OH-MY-GOSH!!!" By now it was waddling around on the ground and I smashed that little bastard with the heel of my foot down to Hell where it undoubtedly came from. Yick! It's OK to smash ticks into the carpet at church, just not glitter.

I forgot about it and life went on. Then this morning I am standing in front of the toilet evacuating my bladder and while I am doing so, scratching my lower back and hind quarters, when suddenly I feel this funny little flap on my back right in the middle of my waistline. "What the heck is this?" Is it a skin tag??? so I yank on it and bring it around front to inspect. A TICK!!!!! YIKES!!!! This time, being in the privacy of my own home, I violently shake it off my fingers, do the freak out dance and and wring my hands as I scream like a frightened school girl. That thing was sucking my blood! I felt violated like I had been robbed or something. In general I just felt freaked out about the whole experience. I stood there retracing my actions over what I had done by just plucking it off my back and it dawned on me. I think I stand in front of the toilet every morning relieving myself and scratch my back. I think I always do this. Why? Is this abnormal? Is it bred of generations of man sleeping in tick infested grass matts? Who does this and why? As Seinfeld would say "What is up with that?"