I love you radio!

Yesterday when Mandy was getting ready for work, she turned on the radio. It was the Jim Brickman show. I had a question for anyone that has had the chance or listens regularly to Jim Brickman show. Does Jim Brickman ever turn on the mic without saying "Jim Brickman" less than three times?

"Hi! I'm Jim Brickman! You are listening to Jim Brickman, stay with us after these words from our Jim Brickman sponsors. I'm Jim Brickman"

I sort of wonder if he doesn't use his name like a smurf does. Smurfs were often saying things like "smurfy" in replacement of "good".

I am picturing Jim Brickman sitting in his house at the dinner table and sampling a plate of pasta. He sits up straight, smiles and claps his hands together in giddy delight. "Mmmmm! This pasta is so Jim Brickmany! I'm Jim Brickman. And this is is Jim Brickman's Jim Brickmany pasta!"

On that note, I had another question. Is Dalilah and Dr. Laura Schlezinger the same person? I can't tell the difference between their voices. Other than Dr. Laura's voice is full of angst and impatience and Dalilah sounds like she is riding on high from a fistful of relaxers.

I imagine Dr. Laura finishing her show, sighing, throwing back a large glass of wine and gulping down a handful of percocet, and saying "Mmm! Those percocet are so Jim Brickmany!" Sighing again. Melting into her chair and with a wry smile and half mast eyes saying into the mic "Hi you are listening to the Delilah show..."

My sweet precious little angel

My little girl is the epitome of girliness. She likes to dance and sing and play with her dolls. Pink and purple are her two favorite colors.

Sometimes she just looks at me and for no apparent reason you can see the joy and giddiness surge up inside her that causes her to beam a giant grin, tilt her head to one side, do a little jig dance and then run up as fast as she can and give me a big hug.

One of her favorite past times is drawing. She has a magnadoodle pad that she draws on. She likes to take post-it notes and draw on them. When it is warm she takes chalk out and draws on the sidewalk. Many of her drawings are done so well, they do not even warrant the question "That's beautiful! Um... what is it?"

Her subject material stays in the realm of things she loves. Her family, flowers, unicorns. Girly stuff.

A few Saturdays ago she came inside and was very proud of her last drawing. "Come see what I drew dad!" she said. I stepped out on the porch and looked at what she had drawn. "Who is that?" I said. "It's a dead guy. He's bleeding!" she said proudly.

I am thinking her brother just gave her his first art lesson.

True Love

I like kids because they are honest. They will tell you what they are thinking, what they said and sometimes what others said.

Friday, Mandy went with her friends to the "What women want" conference. I told them it was just a bunch of booths with my picture glued to bulletin boards. But, they wanted to go anyway.

She left the kids in my tender care. With promises of pizza looming over their heads they helped me clean the house. As promised, I made good on my pizza promise and we sat around the table eating pizza. The conversation was pretty slow as we all chomped on plain cheese pizza.

Walker broke the silence. "Hey dad, do you want to know why mom said she married you?" How could I refuse the answer to this question? I prepared for a "ah! That's sweet!" moment by readying a napkin to dab away my tears of tender appreciation. "What did she say Walker?" He gulped down a bite of pizza and said "Because you can always eat her leftovers"

Well, everyone has their talents that make their spouse appreciate them, and that is one of mine.

Men's restroom

For those of you who might read my stuff with any sort of regularity -- I do have an update on my experience with people using bluetooth earpieces while using a urinal next to me. I am regretful to report that almost this exact same thing has happened to me not twice. But three more times.

Luckily for me I have avoided uncomfortable moments by adopting a strict no talking at the urinal policy. Unless I am ABSOLUTELY positive I am the one being addressed.

There are plenty of reasons I am grateful I am male. I wouldn't enjoy the time spent doing hair and makeup. Fashion is an awful lot more fickle for women. A guy can buy a shirt and wear the same haircut for a decade or so and remain in fashion pretty much the whole time. Then you have Extra hormones, cramps, child birth, being attracted to stinky guys -- to name a few. But you can all be thankful you have seperate stalls in your bathrooms. Feel free to debunk me, but I understand some of your bathrooms have couches?

I can't imagine a world where guys would not completely mess that up. I have done my fair share of janitorial work and therefore seen the comparison between men's restroom and women's restroom messes.

I have used urinals and noticed urine on the wall at my eye level. I can't imagine, (nor do I want to) the scenario where some guy ends up peeing on the wall as high as high as his face.

On the opposite end of the spectrum there is chronically the puddle on the floor in front of a urinal in almost every men's restroom. Do that many men overestimate themselves?

Most urinals have so much "personal" hair in them it looks like someone dropped the floor sweepings in there after Don King got a buzz cut. Apparantly some men are experiencing hair loss in places other than on top of their head.

That's just the urinals. The toilet stalls are just as bad. I have seen turd splatter covering the entire inside of a toilet bowl. Once again, I can't imagine (nor do I care to) the situation where you achieve that sort of spray pattern. You would have too... nevermind, I don't want to think about it.

moving your attention over to the wash area there is splashed water all the way up the mirror. countertops so wet it is pooling and dripping on the floor. Guys, the sinks are for washing your hands, not bathing your German Shepard.

I say that with the utmost reservation. I don't want to discourage any hand washing that already doesn't happen. My silent fear is that the guy whizzing up on the wall is probably the same guy not washing his hands.