Vegas the conclusion

I know... I know, you have all been waiting for the exciting conclusion to Vegas. So, we had walked past the bunny and saw more of Pete Rose and our feet. Off we headed down to see the rest of the shopping area. We stopped at FAO Schwarz (the big toy story featured in Big) and yes... they did have a giant piano that everyone gathered around as if waiting for Tom Hanks to come out of nowhere and start playing Chop sticks on. I am sure for the right price Pete Rose would have.

Then we headed down to the end of the shopping center where there is an animatronic show depicting the fall of Atlantis. The Vegas.com website states it best when it describes:

The story unfolds as King Atlas tries to determine which of his children will rule Atlantis. The siblings try to destroy each another, poisoning the kingdom with their greed. Finally, the gods decide to step in and settle the dispute, launching the Fall of Atlantis. A 20-foot winged beast appears from behind Atlas' throne and watches over the destruction as Atlantis is consumed by fire and then flooding water.

During the show I looked at Mandy and laughed. It was embarrassingly shoddy. The first thing I noticed was that the sound system was so echoey all I could hear was "Warwa wa wa wa woo way weh..." I thought Charlie Brown's parents were actually narrating. The next thing that stuck out to me, was the herky jerky motions of the robots... excuse me, animatronics. They were so erratic and abrupt they made C3PO look like a smooth moving Rico Suave. I also noted that King Atlantis' mouth was broken and did not move. From what I could gather from the herky jerky gestures and the "wer wa wa woo wa" was that this king had two kids and they were fighting over the city of Atlantis. One of the children had control over water or maybe ice... possibly both and she was threatening to make sure all of her brother's TV dinners were always frozen and never warm in the center and the son had power over fire and had a sword of fire that he frequently waved around and I think he threatened his sister that her popcorn would always be either unpopped or burnt to tiny puffs of charcoal. Their father... perhaps the king listened to them a while and finally grew irritated and yelled "That's it! I've had it up to my crown with this squabbling! I am sinking this place and retiring in Fort Lauderdale!" and so he sunk it and bought a nice condo with the insurance settlement. For some reason there was a giant pterodactyl behind him. For his sake, I hope it wasn't his wife, because the communication barrier in that relationship would be a monster. As King Atlantis I am sure he was always "War wa wa woo way wooweh!" and she was always "Screeeeeecchhhhh! Crrrrrrraaaaaaaawwwwwwww!"

The other hokey part about the "animatronic marvel" was that the robot for the guy with the sword of fire... his hair/wig thing was all cinged. It sort of set the cherry on top of the whole ball of cheesiness. I seriously think the animatronic show at Chuck E cheeses is better coordinated. But, as one of my friends reminded me... It's free!

After seeing the animatronic marvel we were growing weary from not eating in the past 30-45 minutes... so we all lethargically staggered down the strip and put our famished selves in line for one Hell of a good buffet at the Paris. (After a short jaunt over to the venetian) More on that after this little tangent. Vegas is a strange place for many reasons one of which... the people standing on the strip shoving, snapping, waving cards in your face for call girls, or whatever they are. I found that by completely ignoring them, they pretty much left you alone. Vegas is a strange place because they allow this to go on all of the time. Now here me out on this. I am sure the litter problem from these people is a huge problem. Maybe Vegas doesn't care OK fine. But, I have thought about taking my family to the mirage and eating at the Carnegie Deli, but I am sure I am not alone in being very apprehensive in exposing my children to that, because I am sure one of them will try to pick one up, I will have to stop them and then comes the questions I don't really want to answer "Why is that lady naked? Why are they passing out cards? What are they for? Who is Pete Rose?" and so I probably won't take my family to Vegas which is a loss of revenue for them. So, maybe Vegas isn't Disneyland and maybe it isn't a place to take a family anyway. But I thought about the opposite end of the spectrum. I wondered what would happen if there was a preacher standing with them snapping pamphlets and handing out tracts. I can only imagine the public outcry and the huffing and puffing that would occur around such an event. Not that I want to see either one of them standing out there passing me literature. It just solidified the concept of how surrealistic Vegas is.

Back down to the Paris Casino we went to Le village buffet. The buffet has different themed stations. I think there were five in all. dessert station with creme brullee (I am sure I will slaughter most of these spellings) tiramasu, pecan cookies, cheesecake, pecan pie, peach pie, flan, and chocolate chip cookies. the salad bar had salads, crab legs, several types of cheeses I had never tried before, rolls and breads. The grill station had chicken, beef, lamb, grilled mushrooms and even grilled egg plant. There was a crepe station where each crepe was made to order and they had salmon that was great some pesto pasta steamed mussels and soups and prime rib and shrimp that I was too full to even try. The atmosphere was set up like you were sitting in the streets of an old town Parisian village. I kept expecting someone to step out on one of the faux balconies and start dusting a rug. My pants now fit a bit more snug thanks to that place.

That night a few of us went back down to the casinos on Fremont street, watched the light display and lost our money. Leaving we found we had parked in a parking lot that was only validated by a bar. My niece strolled into the bar, told them a bald faced lie that she had eaten there and forgot to have her parking validated and then we went home. In single night Vegas turned us into a pack of gambling, over indulging, lying, cheating, bar going sinners. Oh let's be honest... Vegas didn't turn us into what we already were.

Sunday we lounged around on the red couch like frumpy royalty who get fanned by servants with palm fronds while being hand fed plump grapes. As my mind threaded in and out of consciousness I dreamt of Elvis wielding a fire sword who used it to grill us up some more pastrami sandwiches. I awoke and found my leftovers from Carnegie and cherished each succulent bite knowing that it could be a while before the Carnegie and I crossed paths. Not that I was planning on not coming back, I am simply a realist and understand that life picks up steam and pretty soon you are going clickity clack down the rails of life while the things that you enjoy go whizzing on by in flashes of brilliant color, barely distinguishable from the scenery, the smoke and the cinders lofting down around the fading objects behind.

Monday we made our final hurrah by enjoying $1.99 breakfast at Binions again (sorry, no one dressed in white jumpsuits just a guy that looked just like Dick Cheney eating alone at a table behind us) and then we were off to the airport and our Vegas vacation over, out of surreality and into reality.