COMING SOON!!!!

I along with a very funny and enormously talented individual, are working on a new website coming to you soon! www.todaysofficedare.com I will be challanging you to a periodic strange and bizarre office dare. You can then go to our website and post stories, pictures and results of your dare. I will throw out my first dare here so that you can prepare ahead of time and have your stories ready for when the site is up and running. The challange is: Purchase a package of cookies such as Oreos, fudge stripe, E.L. Fudge or similar. Take them to work and offer them out. As each person takes a cookie... Be sure they know, and insist that you made them.
Other challanges might be to tell people that you can't talk today because you have lost your voice. Don't try to make your voice sound strained as you explain this. Or...respond to everything everyone says to you with the phrase "we'll see!"

Chudleigh AWAY!!!

Before I went to Santa Barbara it snowed. I woke up early and anxiously started the snow blower. I am so proud of my repair that I just LOVE to use the snowblower. I did our driveway in about 5 minutes, then I looked down the block and though of all of the poor whelps out there grunting and dishing scoop after scoop of snow off of their driveways. I looked down at the snow blower and said "Come on! We have a job to do!" That didn't seem right. I realized I had never named my ravenously snow hungry gremlin. I thrust my index finger into the air and announced "I shall here fore call you... CHUDLEIGH!!!" (pronounced CHUD-LY) I stood up straight, stuck my chest out and shoved Chudleigh into a long stretch of freshly fallen snow pack. Chudleigh growled contently as he gobbled through the snow. I could tell he liked his name. I ended up doing the sidewalks on the whole block. I wanted to do the driveways on both sides of my house but I was going to be late for work. I reluctantly placed Chudleigh back in the corner of the garage. It was still snowing and I knew Mandy would have to remove the new snow while I was gone. I woke here up and showed her the intricate operating procedure of Chudleigh. It is more of an art than a science, but if you know where to scratch his back he rewards you with a magnificently clean driveway and huge sense of pride and accomplishment. When I got to Santa Barbara I anxiously called Mandy to see how well Chudleigh had worked. I was disappointed to learn that he had only cleaned two stripes on the driveway and died. He was going to get a stern talking to when I got home! When I came home I tried everything I could, but he wouldn't start for me. I know every internal combustion engine needs 3 things... air, fuel and spark. (well diesels don't technically need the later, but... I wasn't dealing with diesel snow blower... but that would be cool!) I know he had the first two just wasn't sure about spark. I took the spark plug out and found several chunks of some unknown foreign matter stuck in the spark plug. Not to surprising to me. this snowblower has no air filter and actually has a nice little cup on the front of the carb which makes a nice catch basin for any number of foreign materials. I cleaned them out of the spark plug and tested for spark... yep! good spark. After I reinstalled the plug, chudleigh practically started itself. I pulled the chord and he howled to life, sputtering out a brief cloud of white smoke and then idling up to it's normal hum. I had some snow that wasn't shoveled on the pad on the side of the house. I quickly cleaned that up. That just sort of wet my pallet without bedding it back down. I decided the patio in the back yard needed to be cleaned. Chudleigh cut through all of that snow and merrily shot the snow about 30 feet away. I then tested his merit by cutting a path right through the backyard where the snow was almost as deep as the blades are tall. No problem. blasted the snow right out of the yard. I had a blast! I told Mandy that I thought it would be fun to clear all of the snow off of our entire front yard. All of our neighbors would have about a foot of snow and ours would none! That would be awesome! Well... gotta go check the forecast, see if any more snow storms are heading our way!

Cottonelle...oh how I love thee!!!

I just got back from 3 day business trip from Santa Barbara and felt it relevant to discuss an unsavory subject. I will try to keep the discussion of this dirty business, clean as possible. While away my fondness of Cottonelle flush able wipes was re-affirmed. I was introduced to them several years ago. A coworker and good friend came back from Iraq. On one occasion as I was asking him about his experiences there he told me how they had a lawn chair with a circle cut out of the seat and then re-enforced with duct tape. When certain pressures in the bowels increased which required relief, they set up the lawn chair and cleaned up using Cottonelle wipes. As he described the cooling and cleansing effect on his posterior, his face melted into an exquisitely serene smile of fondness. I asked more about these wipes and he issued a challenge He said "Get some of these wipes and the next time you wipe, clean up as good as you can with just toilet paper and then follow up with cottonelle wipes." I took him up on his challenge. To be honest I was horrified at the gross amounts of matter left behind by just toilet paper. I realized how archaic our toilet paper system was. we have cars that recognize individuals and automatically adjust controls to the persons preferences, toothbrushes that clean ultrasonically, carry credit card sized computers that store an entire library full of music, yet we still barely control our fecal hygiene with a wadded up ball of thin ply wood pulp? I have often heard the french criticized for their lack of hygiene, but, even they have boudoirs! I ate a lot while I was gone and just like what goes up, must come down... what goes in, must come out. I had the opportunity to sample many restroom facilities in hotels, airports and restaurants. 3 days without using my beloved cottonelle wipes. I did shower everyday but subconsiously I wondered if I was that guy that when I walked by, people would glare at each other, pinch their noses and silently mouth the words "He stinks like POO!", to each other. Then when I turn around they look at me and innocently smile as if nothing was going on. I rarely endorse anything, or support any widespread social reform, but if I could have this product placed in every home and every restaurant and every hotel and every airport, I can see nothing but positive results! And that is why I am announcing my candidacy for president based on this platform! for the (I don't know what political party. I was going to insert some joke here about a political party that used the ass (of the donkey variety) for their mascot... but one of them already uses that one, and they are serious about their mascot. So they ruined it all for me! what a buncha asses! now this isn't even funny! CRAP! And that's all I wanted to clean up here!)

I feel like dancin

Today was the first day of the spring semester for my dance studio. I started with my adult class at 2:00 there were four ladies that showed up. We did a five minute warm-up to the song Jump (for my love). Then we did some across the floor movement to You make me feel like dancin. I introduced the songs I'll be choreographing to which are Love Song by Sara Barelis and Fighter by Christina Agulaira. It was fun! We laughed alot and look forward to next week.
My 3:00 class is my beginners. there are four in this class they are all three years old and so cute. Of course Shelby is in this class and loved it. It went really well.
Next is my four year old class at 3:30 there are six in this class and were all with me last semester. They were excited to come to dance again. For these two classes they danced to Splish Splash to warm-up. I found a great website this week called free kids music.com and got some really fun music for little kids. We did some dancing to a song called Ants in my pants, and Can you clap? I had them do a dance step for their name and called it the name dance. Then we cooled down dancing as princesses to Whistle while you work. It was great.
I ended up combining my five to eight year old dancers, and they start at 4:30. I have seven dancers in this class, two of whom are new. I hope it will be okay merging these age groups together. We warmed up to Gettin Jiggy wit it, and then did floor movement to Undercover Creatures and Heaven they also did a Name Dance. They cooled off to Wishin and Hoping.
All of the classes went really well. I need to get on the ball with my choerography, and look forward to a great semester of dance.

Fun in the snow

If there is going to be this much snow then we may as well play in it.

Bring on the snow!!!

Last year my friend Shane gave me a little Toro snowblower. It was left by the previous owners of his last house. It worked fine as long as you kept pumping the primer button. I said I would take it and see if I could get it to work. I took it home, tossed it in the middle of the garage, kicked it, gave it the stink eye and finally sprayed some carb cleaner at it. I regret to admit I have never twisted a bolt on a 2 stroke engine. Ironically a 2 stroke and I have alot in common, we are both finnicky, sound horrible, make funny smells and are a little bit odd. I will be honest, I am more confident with a tax form than I am with a 2 stroke. That night I went and emailed Doug. I know he could fix it. I was pretty sure he could even rattle off specific parts to tweak or replace if not just repair it by having me hold the phone up to the snowblower so that he could use his intricate knowledge of a 2 stroke to just tell it to behave. He wrote back and said it was a good little snowblower and all I really needed to do was pull the carb apart and clean out the main jet. Gas sits in the bowl and varnishes things up a bit.

I strolled out into the garage after reading the email and slowly dismantled the cowling until I finally found the carb mounted in the back. I didn't want to take the carb off so I took out two adjustment screws and looked down their holes. they looked dirty so I sprayed some carb cleaner down in them. After I cleaned the carb cleaner out of my mouth and eyes when it shot back out at me I sprayed some cleaner in the carb and put it back together. to my delight it started and idled without requiring me to pump the primer the whole time. Then I pulled the handle to spin the blades- BLAH! it said as it died. Discouraged I put it away for the year and didn't touch it again.

This year we got several descent snow storms. The first storm I sweated, grunted and groaned as I cleaned our driveway. It was so hot that I removed my coat and gloves and labored in nothing but a t-shirt. As I finished I heard a fmiliar scream. My neighbors across the street had bought the exact same snow blower we had for $30 at the DI. I stood motionless, freezing drool collecting on my bottom lip as I watched my neighbor casually stroll behind their snowblower as it beautifully arched the snow clear of the driveway. I listened to the engine as it churned through the snow it seemed to hunker down and growl contendedly as if it were saying "Mmmmm yummy!"

While placing the shovel back on the rack I decided I would take another crack at the snowblower. this time I pulled the carb off and took most of it apart. I shoved a wire from a twisty tie down all of the holes I could see and gave them a shot with carb cleaner. I put it back together and started it up. It seemed to work fine now. But, I didn't have anymore snow to really test it on.

The next snow storm arrived and I anxiously fired up the Toro and shoved it into a strip of 3 inch snow it gobbled at it for a bit and then let out a groan as it grumbled to a stop. After trying out several strategies I figured out that if I took it slow and as soon as I heard it start to go into the "death groan" I could quickly stab the primer button with my cold, wet finger. it would sputter a few revs out and then howl back to life. I plowed our driveway through two storms this way, but in the back of my mind I still had the vision of my neighbors snowblower merrily tossing the snow aside like a puppy throwing around a ragged old shoe.

Yesterday, I discovered on the Toro website that there is a needle connected to the float in the bowl... the part I never took off of the carb last time I cleaned it. Haunted by the vision of my neighbor's snow hungry machine I took the carb apart for the second time and cleaned the carb thoroughly with a pipe cleaner, carb cleaner and another wire from a twisty. I took everyithing apart inspected it, cleaned it and carefully put it back.

This time when I started the snowblower I nervously inched it towards a pile of snow. I let the blades lick at the pile for a bit then I gave it a little bite. it spat it out throwing it about 20 feet. "You liked that huh?" I said as I pulled it back and rammed it into the pile of snow. The RPMs dropped and the engine growled devilishly as it spat out a stream of pulverized snow. "VICTORY WAS MINE!" I went around clearing the driveway back to the grass. I cleaned a neighbors walk who never got around to finishing from the last storm. dissappointed I looked around and discovered all of the driveways and walks were cleared. One time Doug told me "just take it apart, see how it works and fix it." That has worked every time... except for the time my computer broke. For some reason you can't just look at electronics and see how they work.

New Start

I have recently become aware of the fact that there are thing that you CAN DO and things that you CAN'T DO. After pulling myself out of a severe depression, I CAN be happy and live a good life. I CAN feel the sun shining on me again and see the beauty of this world and the many opportunites that life offers. I realize though that I CAN'T be completely happy and healthy (mentally or physically) and be FAT.
I have committed 100% to losing weight this year. I am 233 lbs and would like to be 145 lbs. by the end of the year. The reason I am putting this out here is because I know that I need the love and support of my family and friends this year as I venture into this new lifestyle. I am taking it slowly day by day, so don't be expecting anything drastic. I am planning on this being a lifetime change and I feel that I don't need to do it too quickly.
You can help me by asking me about my goals and how I'm doing in reaching them. You can ask me to go for a walk or a bike ride or to do anything active. Don't invite me to dinner and a movie. I welcome your phone calls of encouragement and need daily affirmations of the positive things about me the way I am. I would love any ideas on healthy meals and snacks, things to do to keep me active, and ways to stay focused on my goals. I truly do love life and know that to live my best life I need to lose this weight and begin a new lifestyle. I love you all. Yea! Me